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How Can You Help Your Children Adjust to Living in Two Homes?

Dec. 17, 2019

Every day a new Pennsylvania couple decides to call it quits on a marriage, and often children are involved. If you and your spouse are splitting, there are ways to handle it so that the negative effects on your children are minimal. This is especially important if your children are going to live in two homes rather than the one they are used to.

FamilyLife provides some ways to help children adjust to living in two homes after their parents split up. One important thing is that both parents respect the other parent and the rules in their household. It is important to not make fun of the other parent’s living conditions, decisions, dates or activities. If there are concerns about these things, your children should not be involved in the discussion about it.

Parents can also schedule a regular meeting to discuss concerns and worries about their children. During this meeting, you can go over behavioral training, schedule changes and academic reports. Avoid a discussion about personal life or any part of your relationship that is inappropriate now that you are divorced. If you and your ex cannot meet without conflict, you can do your meeting through an email.

Children should have the basic necessities in both homes. They should not have to take things such as toothbrushes, dishes or pillows from one house to another. They may have a special stuffed animal, blanket or extra clothes they like to take back and forth, but they should have the basic, everyday needs covered in both houses.

Finally, parents should make the details of the custody agreement work even if they do not agree with every aspect of it. Any time the children have an adjustment coming up, it is important that it is handled in a stable, calm manner.

This is for educational purposes and should not be interpreted as legal advice.